I always find myself here, sitting in the middle of this disastrously hideous green bench that overlooks a neighborhood park closing my eyes and just breathing. Once I build up the strength to open my eyes I begin to think.
I don’t think about what it would be like to have a mother who could be my safety net rather than my biggest obstacle. I don’t think about all of the bills that are do within the next week or two. I don’t think about the overwhelming amount of loneliness that seems to follow me wherever I go.
I think about what it was like to be a child. To be able to play from sunrise until sunset without a single care in the world. I think about what it felt like to feel genuinely happy. I think about what it felt like to have a such disturbing amount of confidence that I actually thought I could take over the world.
My whole childhood I looked forward to growing up, and now that I have I’ve learned that ignorance truly is bliss.